The Physics of Dating: Apps, Coffee Shops, Bars, Dancing, and the Information Superhighway

I started 2026 with a plan to start dating with more frequency. My current relationship status is fairly complicated with lots of situationships, cheating, and sleeping around really affecting my ability to concrete my interactions with my special someone. It is not that there is no love, maybe it is that I have not made my intentions and attitude known. I fell in love with a student of mine, from human physiology at USC, but society deems it reprehensible to date your students. So years passed and we communicated slowly and platonically at first, then eventually in a more romantic way. I found out that our coincidences were because she had a crush on me. Relationships, though, are more than just puppy love. Interactions belong in the realm of society. Mutual friends, work colleagues, professors, secretaries, administrators, and an entire battalion go into building something that will last. Try to avoid opportunists, jealousy, and random hookups. These things damage the nature of interaction and cheapen the experience of psychedelic love. What I mean is that the special someone in your life should be there for you in thick and thin, through all the trials and tribulations of life, and for the good and the bad.

I was once in love. We left for separate colleges. It was rough. She moved on. It took me years to recover. The nature of relationships is inherently biological. Man seeks woman. People look for attractive qualities. They want a provider, someone fun, someone spontaneous, someone with friends, and someone who can hold a conversation. That is one reason I fell in love with my student. It is also important to find someone who sees you as special. My students saw me as their immediate superior, an authority figure, someone with meaning and purpose. You don't want to be some guy at a bar, some bloke at a coffee shop, another random dude. You want to be the star in someone's eyes. This is why the situationship is evil and the relationship is valued. The ancients believe in the natural order, the connections of men and women that are not random. It is through the work that is rewarded, through the connections in culture, that relationships are made. It is one's job, one's livelihood, one's interaction. The random hookup changes lives, alters jobs, makes connection to the relationship difficult.

People settle down for many reasons. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. We strive to find romantic love. For those who have never been in love, it is a lot like physics. You immerse yourself in the problem and then tune out all distractions. The world disappears and the only thing that matters is the calculus. That is like love. Everything, politics, religion, work, and economics all seem to vanish.

I know there is someone out there for everyone. Put yourself out there. I go places alone, probably not the best idea, but I am an independent person. I call my friends on the phone and connect to them through apps. I have dating apps, marginally successful, but I do better with wing people and at the bar. Don't listen to me though, I have been single 24 years. My high school sweetheart is lone gone, puppy love of the past.

Relationships should be built with mutual respect, trust, understanding, loyalty, equality, and fun. I would love to reconnect to my students and build the real thing that I once had -- this time dating freely without the university keeping tabs. Maybe this time some loyalty would be nice.

In 2026, dating in America is defined by a paradox of hyper-connectivity and deep-seated "app fatigue." While digital platforms remain the primary catalyst for new relationships—responsible for over half of all new couples—there is a palpable cultural shift toward "intentional dating" as a defense against years of superficial swiping. Modern singles are increasingly rejecting situationships and ghosting in favor of "clear-coding," a trend where individuals lead with their core values, quirks, and relationship goals from the very first interaction. This movement toward radical honesty, often called earnestness or "dropping the cringe," represents a collective effort to bypass the performative nature of traditional online profiles and find deeper, more resilient connections.  

Let's analyze the situation a little more in depth. My world and the world in total are these massive experiments. We have to analyze everything. There is a "post-app" movement that is gaining momentum as daters seek to escape the high emotional labor and burnout associated with digital matching. This has sparked a resurgence of in-person "analog" dating, ranging from "digital detox" mixers to hobby-centric social clubs where the goal is organic chemistry rather than algorithmic compatibility. Interestingly, A.I. has also become a standard tool in the dater’s kit, with many using A.I.-powered "coaches" to polish profiles or help navigate difficult conversations. Despite this high-tech assistance, the prevailing sentiment in 2026 is one of "hopeful realism," where singles are more protective of their time, more focused on emotional safety, and more willing to stay single until they find a partner who truly aligns with their lifestyle and values